what have i been doing?

for the most part, sleeping. that's changed in the last week and a half or so, yet i'm still having trouble showing up to morning classes.

this fall has been a lot harder than last fall: seasonal depression has reared it's ugly, tiresome head again. it's not fun, because i had hoped atlanta would be far enough south for me to not worry about medication. but, i'm having to think about it again - medicating is not something i relish. it dulls me - i wasn't able to cry when my grandfather passed away...but then, last spring, when my paternal grandfather passed away, i couldn't cry either (but then, i was depressed in march, so that would make sense, too). i have to compensate for the numbness in my personality when i'm on medication but, it's better than being unhappy and feeling worthless.

i'm wondering whether this lull (the last couple weeks, where i've been modestly productive, somewhat focused, and mostly happy) is here to stay or whether i should find me a doctor.

ok, it was good to write that out.

today is a good day: i met up with my friend mona to go to a farmer's market at 8:30 and have been plugging away at homework for about 3 hours. i hope this holds.